


Buddha And The Music Man

by StormyBear30



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-17
Updated: 2011-03-17
Packaged: 2017-10-17 01:49:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/171684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StormyBear30/pseuds/StormyBear30





	Buddha And The Music Man

“Man…I never thought that I would be so glad to get back to the Pitt’s and away from the lot of you” I heard Brian exclaim in a snide way as he leaned against the window of the van we had been riding in for the last twelve hours…coming back from another show at another nameless college.

"Fuck you Bri…” I retorted grouchily as I tried to get out of the seat we had been sharing for the entire trip. However…he knew that he had pissed me off as he grabbed my by the waist and pulled me into his lap.

“Everyone but you Mikey” he quipped with a fake smile that pissed me off even more. “In fact when I get you back to my place I am gonna fuck that gorgeous ass of yours until it is black and blue” he laughed evilly as he pushed me off of his lap but not before planting his hand playfully upon the ass he promised to fuck. “And then I am going to fuck you all over again”

“What the fuck ever” I ground out as I removed myself from the seat before he had a chance to yank me back.

“You know what Mikey...fuck you” he yelled to my retreating figure as I made my way to the front of the van…pushing Emmett out of the passengers seat roughly as I plopped down into the worn leather with a heart felt sigh.

“You know all you have to do is ask and I would have moved” he pouted as he made his way to the place that I had just left…falling into the seat beside the other pouter as they glared at each for a moment before turning away.

“Another fight with Mr. Wonderful” Teddy asked me…his voice full of concern as he glanced at me out of the corner of his eye before bringing it back to the road before him.

“I don’t want to talk about it” I sulked as I laid my head upon the coolness of the window and tried to remember when the hell my life got twisted upside down and inside out…so much so that it didn’t even feel like my own anymore.

I guess it all started a little over two years before hand when Brian and I decided…or should I say he decided that we should be more then just friends. Everything had been going great for us at the time. Brian had just graduated college and was working for one of the best advertisement agencies in Pittsburgh. I had decided to forgo college after a few semesters at our local community college and instead took a job at the Big Q. Within my first year with the company I quickly moved up the ranks to Asst. Manager. I was happy with my life…I was content and then it went completely crazy in no time at all. Working all day and nights spent at Babylon was how I spent my time and as for Brian…well it was basically the same except for that fact that he fucked just about every man on two legs.

It was no huge secret that I was in love with Brian. Hell anyone that would look at us whenever we were together could see it screaming out from my eyes…but it always remained a not so tightlipped secret between the two of us. Don’t get me wrong…Brian and I messed around from time to time but it was never enough. I wanted more from him then I knew he could ever give me and so I lapped up the crumbs that he did give me and planned to cherish them for always. So there we were with our great life…thinking that nothing could ever possibly be better that what we had…but oh how wrong we were.

Every since high school Brian and I had been involved in a band that we had created. It was nothing spectacular at the beginning…just he and I as we prattled around with a set of guitars and microphones. It was fun and something to do to pass away the time until we graduated our dreaded high school. However…all that changed when I became friends with Teddy and Emmett towards the middle of our junior year. They had heard that we had a small garage band and wanted to know if they could get in on it. I was ecstatic at the prospect…but Brain took a little more persuading. He fought me like hell for weeks before he even gave them a chance to audition…but once they did there was no doubt that they were in.

I can’t explain it but the four of us creating music just clicked. Now don’t get me wrong…as musicians we clicked as friends most of the time we didn’t. There was always some drama going on…always someone not speaking to another and so on and so on. It was crazy and manic…but I loved every second of it. We came together as a band rather quickly and before any of us knew what was happening we were playing small high school parties almost every weekend. The Home coming dance was next as well as the prom and quickly after that we were playing some of the smaller clubs around town. Word spread fast about just how good we sounded as a band and we quickly became somewhat of a local celebrity. We were all excited and happy with our new status and felt that once again life could not get any better then it was…but once again fate proved us wrong.

A local promoter had been at one of the clubs that we were playing at one night and wanted us to sigh with him. He promised us huge things and being young and excited at the prospect of becoming multi-millionaires we signed without hesitation. He was true to his word in a sense and before we knew what was happening we were playing a larger club and college circuit. I was in heaven as graduation came and went and we took on the life of adults as we worked…went to school and played all week long…too only work and play harder with each gig that we did on the weekends. Life was wonderful…I was doing something that I loved with an all fired passion as well as spending excessive amounts of time with the man that took of that exact same passion. Brian and I were as close as two best friends could be…or so I thought as the roles of friends and lovers became one on a cold and lonely night after another successful gig.

I was tired…bone tired and as much as I loved being on stage entertaining our growing legions…I was more then a little homesick for Pittsburgh and my family. That particular trip had been a bit more strenuous on all of us…but in particular for me as the lead singer of the band. Robert…our manager was really pushing me to work on some new material that he promised would rise us out of the local circuit and into the mainstream. I was excited about the prospect…but my excitement only seemed to draw tension from the other members of our little foursome…especially Brian. It seemed at that point in time that no matter what I did…or what I said it would send him off into a tailspin where I would get one verbal beating or another. He never lashed out at the others as much as he did to me and that alone caused me great upset and confusion since we were as close as two men could be without sex being involved.

On that particular night his verbal attack was ten times worse then any other I had received before. It just came out of nowhere as we attempted to relax in our hotel room after one of our performances. He was upon me in seconds…calling me every name in the book. I was accused of screwing up his guitar solo despite the fact that I had absolutely nothing to do with it. I was tired and not in the mood to fight…but he was and before I knew it I was being slammed into the wall of our hotel room where he proceeded to pin me to it with the bulk of his body. More words of insult were thrown at me as I continued to lay against the wall in complete shock at this unprovoked attack. I could smell the liquor heavy upon his breath as I tried to break away from the hold that he had on me…only to be slammed once again against the wall as he attached his lips to my unsuspecting ones so furiously that it caused me to cry out in pain. I tried to break the hurtful lip lock… but I knew that I was kidding myself because I knew what was about to happen next and I wanted it more then I wanted to breath.

Yes…what you expected happened…happened. It wasn’t moonlight and roses as I had dreamed about for years before hand. However…it was Brian and it was me that he was with and at that time it was enough. He was rough and brutal…but as he fucked the living shit out of me nothing else mattered. Where making love to Brian had been my dream come true for so long…it actually turned out to be the biggest nightmare of my life. From that moment on everything changed between the two of us. The friendship that had always been unwavering and study began to falter almost from the beginning. Brian started straying just mere months after we came together for the first time and for some stupid and insane reason I forgave his ass each and every time.

“Welcome to the Pitts” I heard him cry out as we drove past the sign stating we had just entered Pittsburgh’s city limits. “Thank fucking god I only have to see your stupid faces for one more show…then no more for the next six months” he continued with his ribbing pissing the three other occupants in the van off with each word. The truth was that his words were true. We only had one gig left on our circuit tour and then we were going to take a break of six months to clear our heads and work on some new material. I didn’t know what was going to happen between Brian and I…but I knew that it had to change and it had to change before I lost what was left of my sanity.

I watched him as he entered the room…watched as the masses of hot and horny men parted for him as he made his entrance and all I could think of at the time was…he will be mine…oh yes…he will be mine. Ok…so it was a cliché line from an old “Wayne’s World” movie I had been watching earlier that night…but despite that it depicted exactly just the way I was feeling. However…in truth I knew that the Adonis standing before me would never be mine. Please…there I was Michael Novotny lead singer of a not so up and coming rock band…short…geeky and just plain unattractive and then there was him…hot…hunky…muscles of steel and I knew that there was no way that he would ever be interested in me. Needless to say I was more then ecstatic when I turned out to be wrong.

“Mikey…wake the fuck up” I heard my best friend and on and off again boyfriend call out to me irritated. At that point in time we were on again and despite the fact that I loved Brian…deep in my heart I knew that the two of us would never withstand as a couple. I know that it sounds pathetic and sad and in a way it was…but for ten years of my life it got me through the days. Pulling my eyes from the handsome hunk I made my way over to Brain as he adjusted his guitar for the last show that we were performing that night. “Where the fuck where you?” he questioned and I could tell that he was already aggregated.

“I’m right here” I replied…trying to be nonchalant about his question as I picked up my own guitar and began to fiddle with it.

“Yeah…your sexy ass is here but your mind was somewhere else” he growled through clenched teeth as he grabbed the guitar from my hands…placing it gently on the ground before her pulled me roughly into his lap. “So Mikey…just what was it…or who was it that had your apt attention” he continued with his line of questioning as he grabbed me by the back of the head and forced me to look forward. “Him…” he asked pointing at some random club kid as he tried to pick up another random club kid. “No…so not your type. Ok…how about him” I watched as he pointed at an older man as he sat at the bar looking like he was trying to drown his sorrows away with the power of liquor. “No…too old” he quipped. “OMG…what the @#%$” he gasped as he tightened the hold that he held on my neck causing me to cry out in pain from the extent of the grip.

“Brian…you’re hurting me dammit” I cried out as I attempted to release myself from his hold. “Let me the fuck alone” I cried out even louder…feeling my body jerk as he threw my form forward. I didn’t know what the hell was wrong with him…and I didn’t care as a pair of strong hands caught me and lifted me upwards.

“Are you ok” I heard the deep and angelic voice of the owner of those hands ask me concerned as I gaped at every muscular curve of his body as he stood me fully erect. My breath caught in my throat as I came face to face with a pair of gray/blue eyes that I just know that I could drown in for the rest of my life.

“He’s fine” I heard Brian answer nastily behind me as he linked his arm around my waist…pulling me tauntly against his body. “What the fuck are you doing here” He ground out in an even nastier tone as he tightened his hold on me. I know that I should have fought him…should have pushed myself away from him and his demanding ways…but as I continued to gawk at the man before me I found that I could do no more then allow him to hold me.

“I heard you were in town and I thought that I would…”

“Come down here and try and make amends…don’t fucking think so” he barked at the man with a full-fledged frown plastered across his handsome face. “Come on Mikey lets get the fuck out of here” he demanded as he finally removed his arm from around my waist…instead latching it onto my hand as he attempted to drag me away from the man that he obviously knew.

“Jesus Christ Brian…it was over ten years ago. Why the hell can’t you forgive me. I didn’t know…I swear to you I didn’t know” I heard him cry out after the two of us. “I love you Brian…I never stopped and I never will. You’ll always be my brother Brian…no matter how much you may try to deny it”

“Brother…what the fuck” I cried out in utter shock as I turned to face the man who I thought I knew inside and out “What the hell does he mean by calling you brother” I questioned as I looked between the two strapping men. At first Brian didn’t say a word as he stood there with a look that I had never in all the years I had known him seen on his face. “Who the fuck are you” I questioned the man angrily as I moved away from the still unspeaking Brian…once again facing the man that had caused my heart to go pitter patter mere moments before hand.

“I’m Brian’s brother…Ben” he spoke as he stared deep into my eyes in what I assumed was an attempt to prove to me that he was telling the truth.

“Brian doesn’t have a brother” I accused as I forced my eyes away from those beautiful baby blues. “I’ve know him for ten years and he has never once mentioned having a brother. Tell him Brian…tell him that you don’t have a brother. Tell me that this is just some trick that you picked up years ago that is trying to get back into your bed. Tell me Brian…tell me” I cried out in near panic as he continued to stand there unmoving…unspeaking. “I said tell me damn you” I cried even louder as I launched forward…grabbing him by the shoulders as I began to shake him like a rag doll.

Finally having enough of me man handling him he grabbed onto my arms…pinning them behind my back as he pulled me tauntly against the front of his body once again. “Mikey…meet my older brother Ben. Ben…meet my lover and best friend Mikey” he spoke unevenly as he released my arms and stormed away leaving the two of us standing there in uneasy…unpleasant silence.

“You look like you need to sit down” the one known as Brian’s brother spoke out to me as he gently wrapped his arm around my waist and led me to a nearby table off of the stage.

For what felt like forever we sat in stone cold silence as I tried to take in all that I had learned that night. Brian had a long lost brother that he had never told me about and sure that was upsetting enough…but what really stung the most was the fact that he kept it from me. I had always thought that I was the only one that Brian could talk to…and with good reason because he had told me hundreds upon hundreds of times growing up…and it unnerved me that he felt he could not tell me about something so huge. “So…are you really his brother” I asked quietly…unable to pull my eyes away from his saddened ones.

“Yes…” he replied defeated. “I am his brother and I guess that I was hoping that after all these years we could make amends…but I can see that isn’t going to be the case…is it?” he questioned me…those haunting eyes begging for me to give him the answer that he wanted to hear. However…I knew Brian and I knew what a grudge holding fucker he could be. I knew that despite the fact that I had no clue as to how they had become estranged…there was no way that Brian was every going to forgive him. “He always was a stubborn ass” he chuckle sadly…pulling his eyes away from mine for the briefest of moments as he brushed a stray tear from his eye…only to bring them back with a look of pure desperation. “Please Mikey…I know we just met but I need your help”

“My name is Michael” I corrected him…slowly drowning within deep ocean colored depths. “Mikey is the nickname that only Brian calls me”

“Michael…it suits you so much better” he spoke softly…as he reached out and covered my hands with the largeness of his own. “Please Michael…will you help me”

“I don’t know what I can do” I spoke truthfully…closing my eyes briefly as the heat of those hands sunk into mine. “Brian is pretty stubborn and the way that he stormed out of here tonight…”

“Novotny…get your ass up here” I heard our manager scream madly from where he stood on the stage.

“I’ll be right back” I promised as I lifted my still stunned frame from off of the chair and made my way over to the man so angry that I could literally feel the heat of it radiating from off of his face.

“He’s gone again” his yelling continued. “That’s it Michael. This is the last straw. I told you if he did this again that he was gone and I meant it. The only reason I gave him another chance the last time was because of you…but not this time. I want him out of the band for good” I could have tried to fight him…could have tried to explain to him why it was that Brian had once again stormed off before a gig…leaving us to cancel another show…but as I gazed into the face of the man I had come to love as a father figure I decided not to. I couldn’t fight his fight anymore because the truth of the matter was that I was more then a little sick and tired of it myself. I was tired of Brian leaving us in the lurch and then having me to come behind him and clean up all the little pieces. “I’m sorry Michael…but it is in the best interest of the band” he spoke sadly as he gave me a quick hug…then leaving me all alone on the empty stage.

“Yeah…” I spoke to no one in particular as I motioned for the roadie standing off to the side to start packing up our instruments. I didn’t know what to do or where to go…but what I did know was that I was not ready to go home and I sure as hell wasn’t ready to face the man that I wanted to beat into a bloody pulp. “Hey Ben…how about that drink” I called over to the man still sitting at the table I had just left. I couldn’t help the small smile that quickly covered my face as he threw one of his my way as I made my way back over to the table. Hours passed before I even knew it and despite the strange circumstances at our first meeting by the end of the evening I had developed a great fondness for Ben. He was smart…he was sweet and he was so good looking that it nearly took my breath away each time that he graced me with one of those beautiful smiles.

“Is there anyplace that I can drop you off” he asked as we made our way out of Woody’s. Looking at my watch and knowing the late hour I knew that I should get over to Brian’s and deal with the aftermath of what had happened earlier…but I just didn’t feel like it.

“Can we just walk for a bit” I asked…hoping like hell that he said yes and when he did…just like before I felt my heart start doing flip-flops. We walked in silence for a while before he broke it with his questions about the relationship between Brian and myself. “Well we met when we were fourteen. From the first moment that I met him I knew that he was different…knew that he was trouble…but there was just something about him that called out to me. I was a total geek back then…of course nothings changed now” I laughed as we continued to walk…blushing completely when he told me that he thought that I was the complete opposite of a geek…but I am getting off topic. “We had a couple of classes together…but it wasn’t until sixth period gym class that we officially got to meet and the rest was history” I remembered fondly those days of our youth before the line between friendship and lover blurred into one. “It was his first day in class and he was already faking a twisted ankle in order to get out of running track. The coach excused him…but not before he told him that he needed someone to help him to the nurses office and that someone was me. Needless to say we never made it to the nurses office” I laughed once again remembering how scared I was when Brain suggested that we skip the rest of the day. “I was terrified” I continued to tell Ben my tale. “But as he smiled down on me with that cocky grin and there was no way that I could deny him anything. We’ve been best friends ever since that day. Always there for each other…helping each other through the tough times…loving each other unconditionally”

“Sounds like you really love him” he spoke and I could have sworn that I heard a twinge of sadness laced around those words. “However…I just chalked it up to wishful thinking and moved on.

“Yeah…but sometimes I…” I stopped myself short not wanting to pull Ben into the emotional baggage that was the story of Mikey and Brian. “Nothing…never mind”

“Sometimes you what Michael” he questioned and I could tell that he truly wanted to know as he placed his hand gently upon my shoulder and gave me his undivided attention.

“Sometimes I just don’t think that I am in love with him anymore. I mean I love him…but sometimes I wish that we had never crossed that line into lovers. Does that make sense” I asked feeling like such as ass to be laying so much shit on a man that I had just met only a few hours before…much less the long lost brother of Brian’s.

“It makes perfect sense” he spoke in comforting words as the hand that laid on my shoulder tightened. “Besides you seem to forget that I am his brother. I remember how he used to drain the very energy from everyone that he met” he chuckled. “I loved my brother very much…but sometimes he just got to be too much to handle”

“Is that why you left” I continued my line of questioning…quickly regretting it at the look of pure and utter sadness that over came his face. “Ben…Omg…I am so sorry. I had no right to ask you that…please forgive me” I begged as I mentally kicked myself for being so thoughtless…despite the fact that it was killing me not to know what the hell had happened in their past.

“I want to tell you Michael…really I do and I will…but for right now I need to talk to Brain before I do that” the sadness in his voice was heartbreaking as I did something that was so unlike me…I pulled him into my arms but not before I placed a quick kiss upon lips that had had me mesmerized from the moment he spoke those first words to me. He didn’t seem to mind as he leaned into my embrace as he wrapped his arms around my waist. “So does this mean that you will help me Michael”

With quick and decisive measures I gave him the answer he was searching for as I released the hold that I had on him. “Yes…I’ll help you Ben. Now how about that ride you offered me” His smile of happiness was nearly blinding and I found that it was something that I longed to see again and again and no matter what happened between Brian and Ben…or Brian and myself it was something that I was going to ensure to see often.

I decided to bite the bullet and have him drop me off at Brian’s loft. I knew that I was going to have to face him sooner or later and I figured the sooner the better. I still didn’t know what I was going to say to him. How I was going to explain to him that he was no longer part of a band that he had helped create with me nearly five years ago…but I knew I had to for the sake of the band and maybe myself. We exchanged numbers before I excited the car promising to call him as soon as I could the next day. He graced me with another dazzling smile before leaning over and brushing his lips across my equally smiling ones. “Goodnight Michael” he said softly…his perfectly defined cheeks radiating the cutest hint of a blush.

“Night Ben” I returned my own blush spreading across my face. I stood on the corner as his car disappeared from sight before pulling a deep breath into my lungs as I prepared for the battle I knew was about to ensue. I didn’t know how tired I truly was until I entered the loft and made my way towards the bedroom. With each step closer the sounds echoed louder and louder around me and despite the fact that I wanted to bolt out of there and never go back…I knew that I had to continue forward. The smell of sex permeated the air as I continued on my journey of self-discovery…my breath coming in short and fearful pants as I forced my feet to continue towards its destination. I already knew what I was going to find as I climbed the two stairs leading to the bedroom of sin…but what I found there instead shocked and stunned me beyond belief.

“Mikey…come and join the party” Brian drawled…clearly drunk or high as he pounded some trick kneeling ass backwards before him…but that wasn’t the worst of it for there were at least three other men in the bed beside him. “There’s no shortage of dick tonight Mikey” he laughed evilly at me as he continued with his fuck…fully oblivious or uncaring to my shattering heart. I still don’t know why it hurt as much as it did that night because in truth that was not the first time that I had found Brian in a compromising position when we were once again back together…but as I continued to stand there it nearly destroyed me.

"Fuck you mother fucker” I cried out tearfully as I turned to leave…only to change my mind as I ran back to the bottom of the stairs. “And you are out of the band you son of a bitch” I cried out madly as I once again made a mad dash for the front door…however he was quicker as he raced out of the room grabbing brutally onto my arm as he spun me around to face him.

“You can’t fucking do that…I created this band. Without me you would be nothing” he screamed madly and with each word the pressure of his grip tightened upon my already tender arms.

“It’s done…your gone” I laughed madly…not caring that I sounded hysterical…because at that particular time that was exactly what I was. “I hate you…do you hear me…I fucking hate you. It’s no wonder your brother left you all those years ago” I continued with my rampage the room spinning around me from the sheer horror of what I had seen and then in an instant the spinning stopped as my world went completely black.

When I came to the next morning…I had no idea what had happened as I woke up nearly nude and in Brian’s bed. Stretching and with a yawn I cried out in pain as sharp pain flashed across the left side of my face. My arms were aching and my head hurt as I crawled across his sheet stripped bed…stumbling into the bathroom a look of pure shock upon my black and blue face as I took my first glimpse into the mirror before me. “OMG…” I cried out in shock and in pain as I touched the tender flesh as the memories of mere hours before bombarded me. Finding Brian in his bed as a hoard of tricks surrounded him…him knocking me unconscious as his fist came in contact with my unsuspecting face. Tears blazed from my darkened eyes as I rushed back into his room…still unclear on how I had ended up in his bed and just where the hell my clothes were.

“I’m sorry Mikey” I heard him speak as he wrapped his arms around my waist as he walked up to me from behind. I froze as I awaited another dose of what I had received before and when he didn’t utter a word I took a deep breath and pulled out of his grasp.

“Where…where are my clothes” I asked as I crossed to the other side of the room in an attempt to get as much space between us as possible.

“I was going to wash them” he spoke oddly as he walked out into the living room and came back with them in his hands. “There was blood on them and…and…OMG Mikey” he cried out as he fell to the floor in a jumbled heap. “I didn’t mean to hit you…didn’t mean to hurt you” his cries of pain went on as he continued to hold my bloodied clothes to his chest. “I was so angry and then I just lost it. I hit you…I’ve never hit you before. I want to die…I just want to die Mikey” he sobbed as I pushed away every thought of my own pain in an attempt to sooth his. Falling to my knees I pulled him into my arms as I hugged him to my chest…fighting the urge to cry out in pain as he latched onto my shivering frame forcefully. “Please tell me you can forgive me Mikey…I can’t live with myself if you won’t forgive me”

I wanted to fight him…wanted to push him away and tell him to follow through with his words and stop living…but it was Brian and I never had been able to resist him in the past and I wasn’t about to start then no matter the extent of my injuries. “I forgive you Brian” I sobbed as I gave into my internal pain in the form of unabashed tears of heartache and pain. I knew that everything at that moment was about to change. I knew that the love that I once held so dearly for Brian was gone and in its place fear and un-trust. I don’t know how long we stayed there…don’t know how it was that we made it over to the bed…but once the sounds of un-fitful slumber overcame him…I was gone.

With painful steps I climbed the two stories towards the apartment that I shared with my good friend and work partner Justin. I prayed that he was still asleep as I slipped as quietly as I could into the darkened apartment…but the fates were not on my side as I came face to face with what appeared to be a bathroom bound man. “Holy shit…what the hell happened to you” he questioned me puzzled as he stood before me with a look of pure shock across his young face.

“I don’t want to talk about it” I spoke abruptly as I tried to brush my way past him…but as I knew he would he was having none of it as he jumped before me once again hindering my attempts.

“He did this didn’t he?” he questioned…knowing the answer already before I answered him. “Jesus Christ Michael…when is it going to be enough? When you are fucking dead?” he went on…grabbing onto my arms only to left go promptly as I cried out in sheer pain. “Oh Michael…”

“Leave it alone boy wonder” I spoke sadly as I called him by the nickname I had pegged him with years earlier. I tried to fight him as he pulled me into his arms…but I had no fight left as I finally allowed every single thing that I had learned and had happened rain over me. Within minutes I was a blubbering mess as he continued to hold me and smother me with words and loving friendship. “Thank you Justin” I sobbed…once I had pretty much gotten myself under control as I kissed him tenderly upon his lips. “I love you”

“I love you too superman” he replied through his own tears and he kissed me back softly. “But Michael this has to stop” he went on as he led me to the sofa…pulling me into his arms once we sat down. “You have to press charges”

“No…I…I can’t do that to him” I cried out in defiance as I jerked away from the sanctuary of his arms as I began to pace the length of the room. “It would kill him if he ended up in jail”

“Oh you mean like how he could have killed you last night” he screamed frustrated.

“It’s not that bad” I defended his actions once again as I planted my bone weary body before the window of the tiny living room.

“Not from where I am standing Michael” he spoke softly as he walked up behind me once again covering my shivering frame with his form. “You may think that your superman Michael…but you are far from it”

“I just can’t Justin…please just try and understand” I begged as I turned and fell into his arms.

“I don’t understand why you continue to defend him after everything that he has done to you…but I will respect your decision. But I want you to tell me what the fuck happened and don’t you dare leave anything out” So for the rest of the morning I filled my closest friend…besides Brian in on everything that had happened. I thought his eyes were going to pop out of his head when I told him about Ben and how he seemed to be the complete opposite of Brian in every way. However it was nothing compared to the vein that threatened to explode from his forehead as I told him about Brian’s actions after finding him the way that I did. After our little talk I was so exhausted that I had to have Justin literally walk me to my bedroom. I fell immediately into a fitful sleep as visions of Brain and Ben invaded my thoroughly fucked up mind.

It was well after noon before I pulled my achingly sore body of out bed as I made my way towards the bathroom for a desperately needed shower. I was still so tired…but I had so many things to do that day and although the thought of falling back under the covers for the rest of my life was great…I forced myself to move as I entered the living room and noticed the flashing button of the answering machine. With trembling fingers I pressed the play button as I awaited the onslaught that I knew was about to happen. Sure enough the first seven messages were from Brian as he begged me for forgiveness. There were a couple from Justin asking me to call him at the comic book store that we both co-owned together once I got up…but most important there were several concerned filled ones from Ben that caused me to lose it completely.

Have you ever looked in the mirror and don’t recognized the person that is staring back at you? Well that day was exactly how I felt. There I was standing before my reflection after an hour-long shower and I felt as if I had no clue who the hell I was looking at. Everything had changed so much in the previous five years …so much so that sometimes I didn’t feel like my life was even my own. I owned my own comic book shop which had been a dream of mine for as long as I could remember…but then the dream expanded when Justin and I started our own gay version comic book and it literally took off. I didn’t think that life could have gotten any better then that…but then the garage band that Brian and I had formed years before hand began to become popular among the locals. We started out at local bars and clubs and then moved on up into the college circuit and despite the fact that we were ecstatic about our success…it was nothing compared to what was going to happen…but that is for another part of the story. I wanted to cry as I continued to stare fixated at the face in the mirror…but the truth was that there was no more tears for me to cry. At that point I was numb…was lost and the fact of the matter was I felt like I was never going to get my life back under any sort of control.

“Don’t you believe in answering the fucking phone?” Justin screamed…jerking me awake as I slept on the sofa after deciding to forget about everything and sleep the day away. “I was scared shitless Michael” he continued to nag as he fell onto the couch beside me…pulling me into his arms. “Jesus Michael…” I could hear the fear in his voice and it caused a tug in my heart at the amount of love that he truly held for me.

“I’m ok boy wonder…just sore” I tried to sooth as I allowed him to pull me deeper into his embrace.

“Michael…” I heard a familiar voice speak quietly behind me…causing me to yelp in fear and shame as I jerked out of Justin’s arms and made my way towards the other side of the room.

“What the fuck is he doing here” I cried out in anger over my shoulder and I continued with my pretend fascination with the wall.

“He called the store looking for you and I told him what happened and…”

“You had no right to do that Justin” I spat out even angrier as I spun to face him. “You brought a perfect stranger into our…into my problems” I continued with my wrath as I rushed over to where he continued to gape at me from the sofa. However…all travel came to an abrupt halt at the near deafening gasp that echoed around us as Ben saw the true extent of my injuries.

“Son of a bitch” he cried out as he rushed over to where I stood cemented in the middle of the room. “He did this to you?” he questioned as we stood face to face. I wanted to fall into his strong and rippling arms and have him erase all the pain…but at the same time a severe case of stubbornness set in as I gave him the dirtiest look I could muster before nearly bounding across the room in order to get as far away from him as I could.

“I’m fine…” I lied…jutting out my lip in defiance as I crossed my severely bruised arms across my chest. “What the hell did you bring him here for?” I screamed as Justin once again. “He doesn’t belong here” I wanted to take my words back at the look of hurt that crossed Ben’s handsome face…but before I had a chance to take any of it back…a look of pure and utter hate replaced said hurt. “Ben…”

“What the fuck are you doing here” I heard the pissed off voice of Brian question behind me…causing me to nearly fall to the floor as I turned to face him.

“Brian…” I gasped in fear and fright…but he wasn’t paying any attention to me because he only had eyes for one other person in that room and I knew that my day was about to get much worse…if it ever got better.

“I said what the fuck are you doing here” he bit out once again as he stepped closer to where I stood in shock…causing me to flinch out of his reach as he tried to place his hands upon me. I could see the hurt in his eyes…but I just couldn’t be there for him anymore…not after what had happened less then eight hours before hand. “Mikey…” he whispered sadly as he reached out once again to touch me…a look of heartbreak floating across his eyes as I practically raced across the room to stand beside his brother. “You’ve…you’ve turned him against me” his accusation reverberated over us as he began to take steps towards me.

“You keep your fucking$ hands off of him” I heard Justin cry out as he jumped within his path. “Don’t you think that you’ve done enough damage for one day”

“Brian no…” I cried out as I watched as if in slow motion as he crushed his fist together before aiming it at the defiant lad standing before him. Flashbacks of an earlier episode rained over me as I tried to stop the carnage that I knew was sure to come…but Ben was quicker as with the greatest of ease he sent the great Brian Kinney flying across the room where he landed with a thud upon his sorry ass.

“Are you ok” he asked Justin as he walked back over to where I stood wide-eyed and trembling.

“Yeah…fine…thanks” he replied stubbornly as he glared at an unspeaking Brian as he continued to lie upon the floor.

“Michael…are you ok” he questioned me next and the concern in his voice and in his eyes was nearly my undoing.

“I’m ok…” I spoke softly…laying my hand upon his shoulder as I gave it a tender squeeze. “Really…I am” I tried to control it…but it was near impossible as a real smile quickly covered my face. I couldn’t help it because as I quickly learned whenever he was near me I felt safe and protected despite the ugliness that was going on around me. I was so lost in the blueness of his eyes that I barely heard the lost and tortured cry of the man who at one time had inhabited my heart fully.

“Mikey…please” he pleaded as he pulled himself into a standing position once again moving towards me. Instantly Ben was standing before me…hands behind his back as they covered the sides of my heaving chest. “I love you Mikey…I need you” his begging went on as I continued to hide behind the squared shoulder of the man that I was growing quite a fondness for.

“You don’t know what love is” Ben spat as he took another small step backwards until I was pressed against his manly back. I was speechless…confused and more then a little upset for I knew yet again that another eruption was about to hit from Mt. Saint Brian before the night was over and somehow or other I knew that there was going to be bloodshed.

“You don’t know a fucking thing about me” Brian shrieked as he took yet another step forward.

“I know that you’re slowly turning into our fucking father” he accused…my heart racing in my chest as I clutched fearfully at the knit shirt fitting snugly to his body.

“What the hell do you know about our father? You left your life and your family ten years ago. You have no idea what our father was like…have no idea the hell that we had to endure because of your departure. You lived your perfect little life and you fucked it for the rest of us…but not anymore. Now get the fuck away from my man before I beat the shit out of you” he screamed yet again…taking yet another step towards the two of us as the tremors already wreaking havoc on my body intensified to another degree.

"Fuck you Brian…” were Ben’s words of anger as he himself stepped forward leaving me alone and vulnerable against the reality of the situation. “You don’t know shit about my life. You have no idea the hell that I went though growing up. You think that my life was all sunshine and roses…well fucking think again and…” No other words were allowed to be expressed as I watched in sheer terror as Brian lunged for his brother…knocking them both to the ground as a horrendous fight ensured. Punches were thrown…words of anger and pain were expressed as Justin and I continued to stand off at the sidelines watching him in admiration of the great pounding that Brian was receiving from Ben. I knew that I should have done something to stop it…but I couldn’t because my @#%$ feet would not move one single inch.

“We need to stop this” I uttered slightly and at first I didn’t think that Justin had heard me…but as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pulled me into his warm embrace I knew that he had.

“No Michael…this is exactly what Brian deserves” he spoke…not once taking his eyes off of the carnage taking place before us. “He won’t listen to simple reason with mere words and in truth this is just a small sample of what he truly deserves after what he did to you last night and has done to you in the past.” I wanted to disagree with him…wanted to defend Brian for what he had done…but at that time I just could not. Brian had hurt me not only physically but also emotionally and I just wasn’t sure if I was ever going to be able to forgive him for the amount of pain that was permeating my very soul at his hand and his actions.

Ben…in no small surprise was no match for Brian as moments after the war began it was over with Ben as the obvious victor. I wanted to run to Ben and fall into his arms as he soothed away my terror and pain…but I could not at the look of pure devastation that placated Brian’s quickly bruising face. I could feel myself getting sucked into those hazel depths of beauty that had trapped me time and time again for too many years to count. However…I fought back as I forced myself away from their tractor beams as I buried my face within the protective crevice of Justin’s neck…but soon my pretend safety was cut short at the words that flew from Ben’s mouth next.

“You think that my life was so wonderful Brian?” he screamed out…tears flowing freely from his beautiful blue eyes as he stood before the man still sitting on the ground. “You think that you know the real reason that I left you and the family ten years ago…but you have no fucking idea what my life has been like” his pain filled words continued as he strode over to Brain…ripping his skin tight shirt from his body…my breath catching in my throat at the sight before me. “These…” he screamed as he pointed to his chest. “Are the reason that I had to leave because if I hadn’t I wouldn’t be standing before you today”

***Warning*** This chapter deals with extreme cruelty. Please read  
with caution. Stormy!!!

 

"Oh Ben…" I cried out in shock as I ran over to the man whom looked as if his whole world was coming to an end. With the swiftest of movements I wrapped my arms around his neck as I pulled him as tightly against my body as I could as I prayed like hell that it would be enough to stop the trembling that I felt blazing throughout his entire body. "Shhh…Ben I'm here for you. It's going to be ok…I promise" my vows continuing as I tightened the hold that I held on him.

"Thank you…" he sobbed softly as he kissed me tenderly upon my lips before turning back to face the man he was desperate to get through to. "Our father did this to me when he found my boyfriend and I making out in my room one night" he spoke sadly as he pointed at the  
many fine lined scars that stood out against his darkened skin. "He went into a rage and started beating Jamie with his fists until he finally got away and then once he was gone he tuned all his brutality upon me. I tried to get away from him…but as you recall back then I was a skinny bean poll and he was much faster. At first he started  
out beating me with his fists…but then when he grew tired of that he pulled out his pocketknife and began to taunt me. Again I tried to get away…but each time that I did he would run the blade across my chest. I can still feel the pain from not only the blade but from the horrible words that he called me" his sobbing began to grow louder through the deadly silent room as I stood behind him in complete and utter shock that any man could be so hateful towards his  
own flesh and blood.

"I don't know how long his beating went on because after the third or fourth slash I lost consciousness. When I woke up I found myself locked in what appeared to be a jail cell. I could hear faint voices but my mind was still so foggy that I couldn't make out who or what they were saying. I didn't know where I was and I didn't care  
because as long as I was away from him I knew that I would be ok and yet I could not have been more wrong" his words of heartache continued as he leaned defeated against me. Without question or regard for anyone else but Ben…I wrapped my arms around his waist as I led him towards the sofa.

"Ben don't" I attempted to stop him from speaking as he opened his mouth as in an attempt to speak…only to close it back as another bout of painful tears blazed across his face.

"I have to Michael…he has to know the whole truth" he spoke through his tears…taking a huge intake of fresh air before he continued to speak. "I prayed that my torture was over…but it was far from it. As it turned out my torture was just beginning and would continue for the next two years. The voices I heard were the voices of our town's  
finest police officers. I don't know if you remember or not Brian…but our father was always quite chummy with the cops in our hometown. It was the only way that he didn't get his ass locked up time after time for being drunk and disorderly. He made up this elaborate story about how I was a queer who had tried to molest his youngest son" he spoke softly staring at Brian as he continued to sit on the floor with his knees tucked tightly to his chest. "He told them that I tried to molest you" he sobbed…clutching at my hand so tightly that I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from crying out.

I watched as Justin fell stunned into a nearby chair…a look of pure shock plastered across his face. I could understand that look for it was the same look that I knew placated my own face…as well as Brian's as Ben went on with his story.

"Like I said…" he went on as he removed himself from the sofa we had been sitting and pulling his shirt over his head as he began to pace the small living area. "My torture was far from over. After that they came into the room that I was in and then all hell broke loose. They started with their tauntings…calling me hurtful and hateful names that being that young I had never even heard before. One would  
scream in my ear as another would smack me in the head. Back and forth these two men abused me and just when I thought that I couldn't get any worse…it got a whole hell of a lot worse. I didn't even realize that a third man was in the room until he walked up in front of me…punching me so hard in the face that I literally flew backwards. I didn't even have a chance to hit the ground before the  
other two men grabbed onto me and held me down on the floor. I was screaming bloody murder…fighting like hell to escape whatever ghoulish torture they had coming up next for me…but with the hold that they had on me I couldn't move a muscle"

A cold fear quickly inhabited me as I continued to listen to Ben's horrifying tale from the past. I wanted to run to him…pull him into my arms and protect him from the memories that he was forcing himself to relive…but I knew better as I grabbed onto Justin's hand and held on as if for dear life. I watched his back stiffen…watched the tears that rained down his already wet cheeks as he turned to face Brian from where he still sat unspeaking on the floor.

"I was still bleeding pretty badly from where Jack had cut me with his blade and the pain was horrible…but it was nothing compared to the pain of having salt water sprayed upon open wounds" we all cringed at his words watching as he wrapped his arms around his chest a look of remembered pain etched across his normally handsome face. "As they held me down the third man had what appeared to be a  
large spray bottle I quickly found out was filled with salt water. I have never felt such pain in my life as he emptied the entire bottle across my gaping wounds. I screamed until I was unable to scream anymore…fought them tooth and nail until I couldn't move a single muscle and still my torture didn't stop. I was near unconsciousness when a forth man entered the cell I was in. He was a horrible looking man with rotting teeth and a stench that soon had me wide  
awake and utterly petrified. Before I even had a chance to know what was happening I was tied to the bed that was located in the corner of the tiny cell and that disgusting man was coming towards me. Again I tried to scream…but my throat was so raw that not a sound came out…I tried to escape my restraints but they had my hands and feet shackled  
to the bed posts as I lay on my stomach. I knew what was coming next as they each left the cell…leaving me with the man that was about to take away my innocence"

I didn't want to hear anymore as I once again dove for shelter within the arms of Justin…tears blazing down my face. My heart was utterly broken as I pulled my gaze from Ben as I looked upon the shattered carcass of Brian. He looked as if he was about to faint as he lay against the longness of the wall behind him for support…pulling in  
large sums of air as he stared at his tearful brother. I knew that Ben's story must have been tearing him apart inside and as much as I wanted to end his pain…I knew that he had to hear Ben's words in order to make amends with the brother that wanted to be a part of his life so desperately.

"I really don't remember what happened after that" he sobbed…sitting on the over stuffed chair located at the other side of the room. "All I remember is feeling him straddle my legs…him ripping the pajama bottoms that I had on off of my body and then the most excruciating pain I had ever felt in my life as he rammed himself into me" he didn't speak for long moments of time as he closed his  
eyes and began to draw air into his lungs like Brian had been doing as well. "I woke up days later in a juvenile hospital unable to speak as I prayed like hell for death to take me…but as you can see it never did" he chuckled sadly…glancing over at me quickly before pulling his eyes away. "I was shipped from one juvenile home to the  
next over the course of that first year as they tried to rehabilitate the child molester as they liked to call me. When they thought that I was "cured" he gestured with his fingers as he went on with his tale. "I was placed in a foster care home. My foster father was a drunk…just like our father who beat me and his two other foster children for any reason whatsoever. His wife was a mousy lady who  
took the brunt of his rantings more then any of us kids did…but she never let any of us see it…despite the fact that we knew what was really happening"

More tears flowed from his eyes as he closed them and took a few more cleansing breaths before beginning once again. "I loved her so much. She was more of a mother to me then our own mother ever was and then one day we came home from school and she was being hauled off on a covered stretcher while our foster father was being carted  
away to jail for murdering her. I was placed back in the foster system for another year of pure hell and torture. There I was taunted and beaten by the staff and some of the other kids placed there. My spirit was broken and on more then one occasion I begged for death to take me…I even tried to move it along myself…but one of the staff found me bleeding all over the bathroom floor half dead after slitting my wrists with a rusty butchers knife I had stolen  
from the kitchen earlier that day"

Gasps of pure shock and terror expelled from the lips of Justin and myself as we continued to clutch at each other's stunned forms. Here was a man that neither of us really knew pouring out the most horrendous events of his life and all we wanted to do was take all the pain away. I could tell that Justin felt the same with just one look in his every blue eyes filled with unshed tears. Without a word  
said on either of our parts we both removed ourselves from the sofa as we made our way over to where Ben continued to sit in silence. Falling to my knees before him…I took his hand into my own…willing all my warmth and support into that trembling hand as Justin did the same…taking his other hand as we willed him on with his story. Brian was forgotten as we focused all our attention to the man smiling  
softly down at us as he took yet another deep breathe before starting again.

"After my attempted suicide they moved me to another foster care home and in the beginning I hated it. The family was nice enough…but I had been abused so much that I was petrified to let anyone get close enough to touch me again…to love me again. However…they were persistent and more then willing to prove to me that things in my life were about to change for the better. True to their word…with  
lots of counseling and my great surprise we became a family. They pushed me to get serious about school…I even made some friends. Because of them my life was completely different and a year and a half after moving in I legally changed my name…that's where the Bruckner came from" he said looking at a silent Brian across the room.

"Well congratulations to you Mr. Bruckner" he finally broke his vow of silence as he pulled himself from off of the floor. "While you were finding yourself a new family Clair and I were left to defend ourselves with our own problems" he spit out…as I fought the urge to get up and beat the fucking shit out of him. Because despite the fact that Brian and his sister Clair did have a shitty life growing up…it was nothing compared to Ben's life.

"I may have found myself a new family Brian…but I never once stopped thinking about you and Clair or stopped loving you. Once I got settled with the Bruckner's I wrote you and Clair every single week. I never received a response…but that didn't detour me from writing you and then one day a letter came back stating that you had moved and they were unable to forward it. I was devastated because even though I never got a response from you…I always held hope that you  
were at least reading my letters and realizing how much I still loved you"

"Bullshit…I never got one fucking letter" Brian screamed…pacing the room like a cages animal…but I could see by the look in his eyes that even he didn't doubt Ben's words.

"Brian…I swear I sent them" he spoke softly…gracing Justin and I with another smile before leaving our sides and making his way over to where Brian stood. "I never stopped loving you and Clair and hopping against hope that one day I would find you and we could try and piece our family back together" he took a tenitive step in front of the man  
whose hazel eyes were boring holes into his own. "I love you Brian…you have to believe that" yet another step taken as he stood fully before him…slowly reaching his arms out as he attempted to pull Brian into his brotherly embrace. Once again grabbing onto Justin's hand I waited of baited breath as if in pain stackingly slow motion he completed his task. For what felt like long moments of time the two  
brothers just held each other…eyes closed as they relished the fact that they were once again together…but in true Brian fashion it didn't last long. I knew what was coming before it happened because the same thing had happened to me before…but as usual I was powerless to stop it. With precise movement he placed his hand around the contours of Ben's face…kissing him quickly upon his lips before releasing his hold as he literally sprinted for the door.

"Brian…wait" Ben called out to him as I got up off of the floor as I made my way over to the man that I knew would need me.

"Let him go…it's what he does when situations get to be too much for him" I soothed…pulling him into my arms as I held his shivering…tear ravaged frame.

"When will he come back?" he questioned through his tears.

"Later today…tomorrow…six months from now…its varies" I spoke truthfully as I placed my hand along the side of his handsome face. "It's what he needs to do to work his way through what he has learned today" I continued…wiping at the spilling tears with the pad of my thumb. "Come on…you look exhausted" I went on…taking his hand as I led his unfighting form into my darkened bedroom. As in an all  
to familiar scene I quietly undressed him down to his underwear as I assisted him into my bed and under the protection of the covers. "Get some rest and we can talk some more when you are up to it"

"Thank you Michael…" he whispered as he peered up at me with the saddest eyes I had ever witnessed before.

"I didn't do anything" I replied confused…smiling down at him softly.

"No…you did" he responded adamantly. "You gave me the strength to tell Brian about my life…your taking care of me now and…"

"Get some rest" I spoke softly…as I leaned down and kissed him upon the softness of his cheek.

"Michael…" I heard him whisper my name shyly as I made my way towards the bedroom door.

"Yes Ben…"

"I know that I don't have the right to ask you this but will you lie with me" he sounded so sad and unsure that there was no way that I was going to turn him down. I didn't say a word as I too stripped myself down to nothing but my underwear…slipping under the covers that he held open for me as I pulled him tightly within my embrace.  
Immediately the room was filled with despair filled sobs of outright pain as I continued to hold him…soothing him…kissing away his tears until exhaustion finally overtook him.

I tried to relax enough to get some sleep…but it was pointless as I carefully slide out from the bed I was sharing with Ben and made my way as quietly as possible into the kitchen. "Hey…" I whispered to Justin as he sat on the small counter top waiting for some water to boil in the kettle…herbal tea bags littering the counter near him. "Couldn't sleep either" I asked already knowing the answer because I knew that the only time that Justin drank herbal tea was when he couldn't sleep.

"Not a wink…" he replied…holding his arms out to me as I slide easily into them. "Are you doing ok? Are you in any pain? Are you…"

"I'm fine Justin" I assured as I snuggled even deeper into my closest friends embrace. "I love you Justin…you know that right?" I asked staring into his shimmering eyes. "We may not be family by blood…but you are my family and I love you"

"I know and I feel the same way" he soothed…kissing me lovingly upon my lips before placing his chin upon my head as I laid it against his chest. "Michael…" he broke the easy silence that surrounded us moments later. "What do you think that Brian will do now that he knows that truth about his brother?" he asked…releasing me as he jumped off of the counter to pour us some tea.

"I think that he will disappear for awhile" was my answer as I took the mug that he offered me as we made our way over towards the dining room table. "He needs to sort out everything that he has heard tonight and then when he is ready he will come back and deal with it"

"So…it's over between you and Brian" he asked shyly…glancing at me over his coffee mug as if waiting for an outburst of some sort. "Really over this time?"

"It's really over this time" I guaranteed with a small smile. "I love Brian…always have…but we were never meant to cross that line" I went on…placing my mug on the table before me. "I don't' know where Brian and I stand right now…but we can deal with that once he comes back…if he comes back" I spoke under my breath as tears again began to mist my eyes.

"What about big Ben in there?" he giggled slightly…pointing in the direction of my partially closed bedroom door. "What's going to happen with him?"

"I don't know" I blushed. "Something…maybe nothing but friendship…but I now that I know he exists I won't just let him disappear from my life"

"He really is one hell of a fine looking specimen of a man isn't he" his giggles continued as he to began to blush.

"Oh Jesus…he's beautiful" I laughed back…glad that we were able to lift the fog that seemed to have surrounded our humble little apartment.

Two Years Later…

"Do you think that he will make it" I asked for like the hundredth time as I once again began fidgeting with the tie that I felt was strangling the air out of my lungs for what felt like the thousandth.

"Jesus Michael will you get control of yourself" Justin scolded me as he once again adjusted my tie for me. "He said that he would be here and I am sure that he will be true to his word" he repeated the answer he had given me to many times for me to count.

"I know…I know" I stammered nervously as I reached for my tie once again…laughing out loud as Justin swatted my hand away from it before giving me the death look from hell. "So…how do I look?" I asked twirling around in a circle giving him the full extent of my ensemble.

"You look absolutely ravishing" I heard an all to familiar voice reply behind me as I twirled around…rushing into his arms before he even had a chance to utter another word.

"You made it" I exclaimed as I littered his face with many of my love filled kisses. "Justin was worried that you weren't going to make it…but I knew that you wouldn't not be here for my special day" I laughed…ducking my head quickly as a hairbrush came sailing my way from Justin.

"Of course not baby…it's not everyday that I man that I love wins an award for best new artist" he grinned…kissing me hungrily and toughly as I continued to pin myself to his glorious body.

"I…I…haven't won yet" I panted…after breaking off our passionate display of affection.

"You will…" was his plain response as he kissed me once again before releasing me as he made his way over to the door of my make shift dressing room. "I have a surprise for you baby" he spoke almost giddily as he placed his hand upon the doorknob…grinning at me in a way that had me literally shaking in my boots in anticipation. "This  
is the reason that I was late" he laughed easily as he opened the door…causing my mouth to fall open in complete and utter surprise.

"Brian…" I whispered stunned as he stood nervously before me. For what felt like forever we just stared at each other…sizing each other up if you will as we tried to decide how our long awaited reunion was going to play out. He looked completely different…but not just in the physical sense. I can't really explain it more then this…he had an aura about him that just screamed out maturity…of growing up. His  
eyes were different as well. Oh they were still the deepest shade of hazel that could suck you into them every time you gazed into them…but they spoke of hardship and of ones coming to terms with the past and the future. He was different…but I could see that some of his glorious luster was still present as he graced me with his world  
famous lopsided grin of death.

"Hey Mikey…" he spoke through that grin as he rushed over to where I stood…enveloping me within his embrace as I closed my eyes and relished the very idea that once again that man was back in my life.

"Welcome back Brian" I whispered against his ears as all the pain and regret of the previous years melted away…because none of that mattered any longer. He was back in my arms…back in my life and as long as I had anything to do with it he would be forever. We shared an all to familiar kiss…but it was quickly cut short as a pair of strong arms wrapped around my waist…pulling me away from his warmth.

"I thought I was the only one that got to kiss you like that" Ben teased…nipping playfully at my earlobe before laying his chin upon my shoulder.

"No…you're the only one who gets to fuck me like crazy" I quipped…trying to control my laughter as I spun around…latching my arms around his neck as I captured smiling lips under my own. "No worries baby" I spoke truthfully after breaking said lip lock. "I love only you"

"And I love you..."

"Oh Jesus…here they go again" I heard Justin whine behind us as we continued to share soft and sweet words of love and devotion.

"Are they always like this" Brian asked…laughter present in his words.

"You have no idea what it's been like having to deal with the two of them since you left" Justin's rantings went on. "It's been pure hell"

"Are we going to let him talk about us like that" I heard Ben whisper softly against my ear as I glanced over my shoulder…looking at my two best friends. I knew that something was different between those two as they continued to gaze at each other shyly from across the room. Gone was the animosity and hatred that was always present between  
those two in the early years and in its place what I hoped would bring those two together in a completely different nature. I wanted them to be happy…just like Ben and I were happy and if the look of pure interests in both of their eyes were any indication I knew that I wouldn't have to wait long.

"Why don't you two get out of here and let Justin tell you about how miserable we have made his life" I laughed…wanting some alone time with Ben before the show anyways since it had been nearly three months since I had seen him last.

"Good idea…Brian" Justin replied hesitantly as he looked up at Brian nervously.

"I'd love to" was his instant reply as he threw the infamous Kinney grin at Justin before reaching out his hand to him. Together they walked out the door…but not before Justin shared one of his own world famous sunshine smiles with Ben and I and then we were alone.

"You don't think that…" Ben began to speak…but I cut him off as I shoved him backwards onto the couch…pouncing on top of him as long awaited need overtook me. "You act as if you missed me or something" he laughed…his hands working their way over my quivering backside.

"More then you can ever know" was my immediate response before leaning down and kissing him with all the pent up love and desire that I held for him. We knew our time was short…knew that in a matter of minutes that someone was going to barge in and spoil our happy reunion so we hurriedly removed unnecessary clothing. Mouths fused  
together in needful abandon…hands caressed supple and fiery skin longing to be touched. "Make love to me Ben" I begged as I roughly took his hand into my own…placing it on my already hardened penis desperate to be touched by him. I tried to control them…but his touch was too much as my cries of wanton passion began to pass from my lips. I couldn't remember feeling anything as wonderful as Ben  
continued to palm my over sensitive penis…but then again my brain was on full over load at that point and I couldn't have thought of anything else at that time even if I wanted to.

"Baby…you have to be quiet" my lover whispered in my ear playfully… his tongue tracing the outer edge as another burst of sounds sprang forward from my throat. I could see the mischievousness in his eyes as he increased the friction of his actions for he knew that I was extremely vocal when it came to sex…and he loved every minute of it.

"Ben…please" I cried out…digging my fingers into the tender flesh of his back as he nipped and licked his way down my body. I was in heaven…glorious heaven as he quickly gave into my need…nearly devouring my oozing dick within the confines of a mouth that had tortured and teased me far to many times for me to count since that first night together.

Confused as to how we got to that very point? Well don't be because it is really this simple. Immediately after Brian left…Ben and I realized that there was something strong between us. Neither one of us knew what it was…and we were both to afraid to move to fast so we took it nice and slow. So slow in fact that after six months of nothing but friendship I was about to lose my mind. I loved Ben…and  
I knew that he loved me and I was damned determined to take what we had and move it into the right direction. I had a plan…a plan to seduce him and make him fall under my spell…but with all great plans something is always bound to happen and that something was Ted and Emmett. On the night of my seduction as Ben and I made our way towards the next step of our relationship…in blew in the terrible twosome.

"Oh god Ben…I've been waiting for this moment for so long" I sighed as he held me tightly within his arms…our clothes in disarray all around us.

"Me too baby" he breathed heavily as he pulled me even tighter against his body as we prepared to make love for the very first time. "Michael…I…lo…" but he wasn't allowed to finish those words at the insistent pounding upon my apartment door.

"Michael Charles Novotny…open this damn door now" I heard the high-pitched voice of Emmett scream loudly through the wooden door.

"If you ignore them they will go away" I whispered…trailing my tongue along the beautiful contours of his mouth.

"Either you let us in or we break the fucking door down" Ted's clearly irritated voice reached through.

"Fuck…" I cried out as I jumped off of the sofa where I had Ben laying in wait for our first time. "I am going to kill them if someone hasn't died" I threatened…gathering our discarded clothing before pulling mine haphazardly over my heat-induced body. I could hear Ben's laughter behind me as he too dressed himself. "What…" I screamed in complete irritation as I threw open the door ready to kill my two friends and band mates.

"Why the fuck haven't you answered your phone" Ted questioned angrily as the two of them brushed past me. "Oh…don't answer that" he blushed…finding Ben struggling to get his jeans buttoned. "Ben…" he nodded towards the man before turning his full attention back to me. "It's finally happened Michael" he rushed out…grabbing onto Emmett's hand as he looked up at me as if I should know what the hell he was talking about.

"What…what's finally happened" I asked thoroughly confused as I looked between the two of them. "What…you and Emmett finally realize that you love each other" I asked…realizing immediately that was not the correct answer at the way Ted dropped his hand like a hot potato…a look of pure embarrassed shock covering his face. "Shit$…um…what I  
meant was…" the ringing of the phone was my saving grace as I raced towards it and away from the uncomfortable situation.

"Hello…" I spoke quickly into the phone…my back towards the still unspeaking two.

"Where the hell have you been" I heard our bands manager scream through the line as I held the hand set away from my ear in protection.

"I've been…busy" I replied with a silly grin as I looked over at a blushing Ben.

"Well get unbusy because you are on your way to California" he went on…causing me to almost drop the phone as he words echoed within my head. "It's finally happened Michael. We got the recording contract and they want to see us in California in two days. Are you listening to me Novotny?" he screamed into the phone for extra emphasis. "It's  
finally happened…your dream has come true. "Our flight leaves tomorrow at midnight. I will meet you at the airport with our itinerary. Its time Michael…time to show the world just how awesome you truly are"

"Everything ok" I heard the concerned voice of Ben speak behind me as he laid his hand upon my waist in support.

"It finally happened" I replied…too stunned to do much of anything but stand there with my mouth hanging open.

"What…what has finally happened" he asked…his concern brought up another notch.

"Record contract…California in two days" my simple words rushed out as I looked past Ben at the two grinning madly behind me. "We did it…" I screamed as the reality of the situation finally sunk in. "OMG…we did it"

"We did it…" their voices echoed around me as I rushed over to where they stood…pulling them into my arms as we jumped like crazed maniacs around my tiny apartment. "We did it…" chanted all around us as we continued with our little dance until we were winded…but happy with what was about to happen in our lives.

Nearly faint from all the overexertion I grabbed onto Ted to prevent myself from falling over as I looked over to where Ben stood unspeaking with a forced smile upon his handsome face. "Um…I'll talk to you guys later" I smiled sadly at my friends…kissing each one upon their lips as they made their way out the door…calling exiting greetings over their shoulder towards Ben. "Ben…" I spoke softly as  
I made my way over to where he still stood unspeaking that same grim look upon his face.

"California huh…" he spoke sadly as he graced me with another one of those sad smiles. "Well I guess that congratulations are in order" his smile widened…never quite reaching his beautiful blue eyes.

"Ben…I don't know what to say" I replied…truly not knowing what to say or do with the fragile beginnings of our relationship.

"There's nothing to say but congratulations" he replied again with that sad smile as he leaned down and kissed me gently upon my frowning lips. "I think that it's great" his words went on as he walked over to where mere moments before we had been making out like bandits.

"Ben…" I whispered as I slowly made my way to where he sat on the sofa. "If you don't want me to go then I won't go" I vowed…truly meaning it…but at the same time not.

"What are you insane" he belted out…taking my hand into his own when I nearly jumped out of my skin. "I would never ask you to give up your dream. It's something that you have been working so hard for even before you met me. I think that it's wonderful that you are finally getting your big break. You deserve this Michael…you deserve to have your dream"

"But Ben…don't you get it…being here with you has been a dream of mine too" I replied as I laid my hand upon his cheek as I forced him to really look at me. "For as far back as I can remember I've dreamed of the day when I would meet the man of my dreams. The one that would get my heart beating like crazy with just one look…set my body on fire with just one touch and for a long time I thought that  
man was Brian…but I was wrong. Oh Ben…you're that man in my dreams. You are the one that I have been dreaming about as I waited for you to come to me in the flesh. I love you Ben" I blushed…but determined to make him understand the truth to my words. "Yes…getting a record contract and making it big have always been a dream of mine…but being here like this with you equals that just as much"

He didn't say anything for a few moments as he tired to let my words set in…but when then they did I quickly realized that things between us were never going to be the same again. "I love you Michael Novotny" he sang out…pulling me tauntly within his arms as he claimed my lips under his own in a mind numbing kiss. The truth of the matter was that I didn't know what was going to happen between Ben and I after that moment…but I knew that come hell or high water we  
were going to be together.

It was tough at the beginning there is no denying that. With me in California as we recoded our first album…Ben stayed behind in Pittsburgh and continued with his teaching. I hated being apart from Ben for the long stretches of time that always seemed to happen between us…but it only made the visits we shared between each other  
all the sweeter. We talked on the phone several times a day as the love that we shared between each other grew by leaps and bounds with each passing one.

Our album hit the charts from its first week out and with each single that came out it screamed right up to the top. Life was great…we were touring and promoting our asses off and I was loving every minute of it. I didn't think that life could get any better until the day that Ben surprised me with a visit between the touring craziness. He told me that he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together before he got down on one knee and proposed right in front of everyone. I hesitated for a split second before  
tackling him with an undeniable yes. Two weeks later he quit his job at the college and moved to California taking a leave of absence from teaching so he could tour with the band and I. Six months later he took a position at one of the colleges here in California and life has been grand for the two of us ever sense…except for one thing…  
Brian.

I should have know that Ben was up to something when he told me one night that he had to go back to Pittsburgh to take care of some old business. I was curious as hell and more then a little pissed off when he refused to tell me why or how long he was going to be gone. However…now that I know it was to go back and make amends with Brian…I realize it was for the best. Brian had contacted him and wanted to  
work things out…but only with him. Neither one of us had heard from him since that day that he had walked out of our lives. We didn't know where he was…or if he was even going to come back…but he never remained far from our thoughts. I still can't believe that he is back in our lives and just how much he continues to change each day. Ben and I are happy and content in our life together. I love my life…  
love the way that heartache and pain brought our two love ragged souls together where we plan to be for eternity. We still haven't tied the knot…but there is no rush for no piece of paper will ever equivalent the commitment that is forever written within our hearts. Life it grand…life is great as I stand by the man who has shown me the true meaning of soul mates. We are evening thinking about starting a family…but only time will tell.

Oh and if your wondering if we won the award of best new artist…well wonder no more. We did…we one that awards that night as well as several others. Brian has rejoined the band…and if even possible we sound even better then before. Our second album is scheduled to come out later this year and if the release of the first single off of it is any indication…then we are well on our way to becoming the mega  
stars that we hoped for from the moment we put our tiny group together.

The End…


End file.
